This is the third article from a trilogy about my experience being a volunteer, a teacher, in North Macedonia in a non-profit Sfera international. It is a sequel to a story from the second and the first article. To better understand the text of this one, read the two previous articles.
The total length of the mission was 8 months. I stayed there only for 4 months due to communication problems between me and the boss of the organization, Milcho Duli, bureaucratic obstacles when processing a visa and their hidden financial interest which I’ve discussed throughout the trilogy and I’ll uncover the end of the plot in this article. The volunteer mission was organized via a program European Solidarity Corps (ESC). The program is funded by the European Union.
Short introduction to the plot
The last sentence which I heard from Milcho was: “As you wish, I will take away everything what you got. Everything will vanish. I will cancel everything.” I answered: “It is your decision. I cannot force you not to do so.” What was next? Did Thor’s (Milcho’s) hammer hit hard this project for which Sfera received 13 660 € from the European union? Continue to read to find out how the story concluded.
Apology
I finished the duty as a guide for volunteers and returned to the office. I apologised Milcho for my behaviour. However, I added that nothing changed in my attitude towards the flat affair. He answered: “It is fine. We’ve found another place for him.”
Crucifixion
I was contacted by Eliska Motyckova from my sending organization, Mladiinfo ČR, the same week probably. She wanted to talk to me about the progress of the project. She wrote the meeting would take place on Monday at 10:30. She also told me to stay at home during the call and don’t go to the office. It raised a suspicion to me. She wasn’t telling me a genuine reason for the meeting. I also asked her if we could reschedule the meeting out of the working hours. She refused.
I prepared for the meeting. I created a 4-page document in which I wrote what I had done so far. I mean a stuff related to the project. I also wrote a part about their slack attitude and how Milcho and Kate didn’t fulfil their obligations towards the project.
Before the call I assumed everything would be fine. I did what I was supposed to do. The problem and slacking was on Milcho’s and Kate’s side.
I was wrong. During the call Eliska told me they decided to terminate my contract immediately. She stated inappropriate and aggressive behaviour was the reason. I objected to it and said it was not true. I told her I had a report about my course of actions and how I fulfilled my duties. I intended to keep the bad part about the mismanagement for this case.
She interrupted me. I don’t remember what she said. It was something like that I must have known something was wrong if had prepared such a report. The call continued in a fierce way which was driven with a feeling of enormous injustice. Mainly because of the fact that I did my duty and the reason why I came here and we all agreed on it and signed an agreement about didn’t matter. Eliska told me to come to the office right after the call.
Getting a reference on previous volunteers
When I started having problems at Sfera, I asked Eliska to give a contact on a person who was at Sfera before me. I wanted to verify if I was the only one having problems. Eliska wrote me she had to ask her. She couldn’t give me the contact straight away. She also added that the previous volunteer was satisfied. Then she asked me how I liked it at Sfera. I told her I wanted to keep it for myself. I didn’t want to judge. I didn’t want to share my thoughts about them with her.
A conversation between us followed. She tried to force me to give her the information. I repeatedly told her I wouldn’t give the info to her. Then she wrote: “I can only understand that in a way that you don’t like it there. Something must be wrong. If everything was fine, you wouldn’t ask for a contact on her after a few months. I can’t force you to tell it to me, but if we ought to help you, you must be sincere with me. I leave it up to you.”
I haven’t received the contact to the date of publishing this article.
Anyway it was surprising that Eliska told me the volunteer was at Sfera two times. When I asked Milcho about it, he told me she had been at Sfera only once. I asked him again if he was sure and told her what Eliska told me. He assured me it was not true.
Unfortunately I couldn’t check if it was only me who was in troubles or the previous volunteer as well.
After the call Eliska sent an e-mail to a national agency. The national agency checks a fulfilment of ESC projects and added their reason for terminating the contract with me. I mentioned the reason above. I replied that it was not true, added my view and the report. I appealed to the decision. A representative of the Macedonian national agency replied that it is not possible to appeal to a decision which both sides agreed on (a sending and a receiving organization). She promised to keep an eye on Sfera international in the future.
Who is an aggressive person?
Who is an aggressive person in reality? Based on a few book about teaching and psychology which I read during my volunteering experience it is: A person whose intention is to hurt other people and uses aggressive means to do so. It is not a person who guards their territory, their interests or interests of their students, when refuses to do something what’s in a contradiction with their character or when protests to undignified manners.
It is funny that I never touched or had an intention to hurt anybody during the stay at North Macedonia. However, the one who touched me in an inappropriate way was Milcho. It happened during our discussion when I told him I would inform the European union about the mess they have at Sfera. He poked me while standing 5 to 10 centimetres from me and told me I would do as he says. And how did I react on it in such a tense moment? Did I smash his face?
No, I stood up in front of him. I straightened up, inflated my chest. looked directly in his eyes, repeated my stance in a loud, slow manner with pauses and ended the discussion.
I believe he would deserve spanking his ass. I also believe it would release tension off me. However, this way of behaviour is not approved by today’s society. I attended a course about assertive communication in Brno and read a book How to talk to ignorants by Peter Modler. These two things helped to react this way.
The book explains communication patterns of people who communicate from a superior position and don’t consider people around them equal. It also explains why a factual discussion doesn’t work in certain situations and why it is necessary to use basic talking and gesture talking in order to communicate.
Golgotha gathering
I had a walk to the Sfera office one hour after the call. When I arrived, Milcho told me they had bought me a flight ticket for the following day. I told him it was too early. I needed to deal with my personal belongings and say hello to friends. He said he didn’t care and told me to pack up my stuff and leave the flat in 24 hours.
He also added they had a new volunteer who was on the way. It was actually the person who they had to accommodate in a hotel and paid for it instead of our flat. Perhaps it wasn’t a bargain for them.
Moving to a hostel
All right, I packed my bags. In total it amounted to 70 kg and a bicycle. I moved to a hostel and stayed there for another 14 days. During that time I was dealing with my personal belongings. I didn’t manage to sell the bicycle. I gave it to one of my students for free. I gave a kitchen sieve to my teacher of Macedonian language. She is an agreeable person and I liked her. I gave the remains of my food to a friend who I had met in Kruševo and I left a couple of bottles of beer for the owner of the hostel.
Strategic call
I was thinking about if it was necessary to hold anger towards the great chief. I came to a conclusion it wasn’t necessary. I still wanted to get my visa to stay in Macedonia. If I had called him and told him: “Please can you do it for me?”, it would have been like talking to a deaf hard thick impenetrable wall. That’s the reason why I called him and thanked him for his support and help during my stay. I didn’t do it against my will which really surprised me.
Last visit to the police station
Four of five days had passed and I went to the police station to pick up my identity card which would allow me to stay in North Macedonia. I thought I could get it. I didn’t get it. Milcho informed them about the termination of the volunteer agreement and thus terminated the residence permit which would have allowed me to stay.
Balkan Vendetta
There is a Bourbon bar next to Hotel Epinal. Sometimes I went for a glass of beer there. I knew a bartender there. He comes from Tetovo originally. He told me it is wild there. I didn’t understand how things which I have described throughout the three articles could be happening to me. I asked him about it. He said: “If a person has vendetta (vengeance) on you, everything is possible.” This theory was confirmed from multiple sources. When I mentioned the vendetta to a woman who I trust at lunch together, she turned pale totally.
So I guess the termination of the residence permit was the Balkan vendetta. I think Milcho didn’t want me to get hands on it. It is also supported by the fact that he wanted to send me back to Czechia within 24 hours.
Balkan love
I packed up all my stuff on 9th December 2021 at the hostel. I had two backpacks, a travel bag and a suitcase on wheels. I took a train to Skopje where I had a meeting with Elizabeth. We went for food and a cup of coffee together. We spoke Macedonian half of the time and English the second half. Then I saw her off. We stopped at a corner of two wide streets. There was a moment when everything stood still. It was like something was expected to happen. At that moment two thoughts stroke my mind. The first one was a desire to kiss her. The second one was a consideration of their own local culture. It is not like in the Czech republic where wild parties take place and everybody kiss with everybody when they meet for the first time. This is rare in North Macedonia.
At one moment we were very close to each other, the second moment our lips were touching. Then we said farewell to each other and our life paths separated forever.
How ESC is financed
The total time period of this project was 8 months. The number of volunteers was 2. The total amount of money (grant) which Sfera received for the project was 13 660 €. The amount doesn’t have to be used up all. Approximately a half of the budget was for: a visa processing, travel expenses, a language course and accommodation. Each of us received pocket money and food allowance 180 € per month.
The rest, 6 830 €, was for supporting the non-profit organization (Sfera international in this case). The average net salary is 450 € in North Macedonia.
Easy way to make a quick buck
I was interested how the European Union inspects if ESC projects are successful and if grants are used wisely and not misused. I also wanted to know when an NGO must return a part of the funds and who is a supervisory authority.
ESC projects last from 2 to 12 months. If any ESC project exceeds mandatory 2 months, NGOs don’t have to return anything. They can keep the funds.
There are non-profit NGOs in each country. Examples are: Sfera international in North Macedonia or Mladiinfo CR in the Czech republic. An organization which inspects how project targets are fulfilled and if funds are used wisely is called a national agency. The Czech national agency is Czech National Agency for International Education and Research (Dům zahraniční spolupráce). The Macedonian national agency is National Agency for European Educational Programmes and Mobility (NAEEPM).
You find the whole list of all national agencies here.
When a volunteer ends an ESC mission, they fill in a report where they write down how they asses the quality of a project and the quality of a support of a receiving organization (Sfera international in my case). The receiving organization does the same, they also fill in the report. Thus the way how fulfilment of ESC is checked is by writing down subjective opinions about what it was like from both sides.
Let’s proceed to my case. I spent in North Macedonia 4 months out of 8 months. So the quick buck which doesn’t have to be returned totals to 720 € (the pocket money and food allowance) and 400 € for a flat rental. The rent for the flat where we, I and Marit, lived was 200 €. It adds up to 1 120 € in a country where an average net salary is 450 €.
I wrote about Milcho’s slack attitude regarding dealing with my visa problems here. At the time I was discussing it with him, two months of the mandatory time to get all the funds had already passed. So there was no need of being afraid of loosing the amount described above.
Who received the payment for the 5th month?
Based on a budget document which describes the total amount received from the EU by Sfera and how much they have already spent, I received a payment for the 5th month. In reality, I didn’t get anything. I got money only for 4 months.
Reflecting about the project
When I visited the Macedonian embassy for the first time, I met a man there. He works as a maintenance man. He told me: “After the time having lived in Macedonia, I can say everything is possible there.” I didn’t understand his statement at that time. When I am writing this article and reflecting about what I’ve experienced, I get it now.
I experienced hospitality of all Macedonians (Except Sfera’s staff and everybody connected to them by personal and friend connections). They all tried to help me. I experienced a Balkan fight for ideals which Macedonians have experienced a lot in the past. I experienced a Balkan vendetta and Balkan love.
I also saw absurdly inefficient bureaucracy of the administrative apparatus of North Macedonia. I also lost my notion and ideals that non-profit NGOs shall serve as a body to enlighten the young generation and the money received for it by those organization to serve this purpose.
When two people have the same interest, they always find a common ground and work together. They support each other. In this case my interest was to educate youths. That’s what I and Sfera agreed on during an interview and signed an agreement about it.
When I was at Sfera, I had a constant feeling of a rejection of support of this project (Digital competencies 4 all) which implies that their interest was different. Our targets weren’t the same. So what was their interest and the target?
In my view I think that when I told them I would report the mess they have at Sfera to the EU, they got scared that the EU would find out that they don’t use the EU funds in a reasonable way to build outcomes they ought to. It would mean loosing their comfortable lives.
People who are supposed to enlighten and build conditions for a better future for young generations chose their selfish interests instead of carrying on with the courses.
Resurrection
After some time I carried on with one of the courses online (Creating websites in WordPress). Four students applied for it. The online version ran from the end of January 2022 until the middle of April 2022. In total 16 classes were taught. Class 5 to 16 were online. The 18th class was left out and was carried out by an online questionnaire. Basic HTML was showed during two classes and CSS wasn’t discussed.
Half of the online courses were attended by all 4 of them. Three quarters of the classes were attended by 2. The whole course was finished by one.
I wasn’t motivated to carry on with the course at the end. I already had enough materials for these articles and I had only 1 student left. On the other and I felt a responsibility to finish the course. I want to thank you to my last student that she was with me until the end and helped to close the project.
The whole knowledge and findings from my teaching are described in a separate article named Curriculum for Generation Z.
Textbook and visual aids
This paragraph relates to the Creating websites in WordPress course only. A textbook was created during the course. It serves as a supplemental material. Many visual aids and support material were created. The aids are mentioned throughout the course textbook.
Have a look and download the textbook here.
Have a look and download the visual aids and support material here.
It is freely available for you and for use at schools for educational purposes.
Feedback from students
I have collected a feedback from students four times during the courses. The feedback was collected either via a questionnaire or via a live communication. The questionnaire included questions on the quality of the curriculum and my methods of teaching. There were also questions on what they would change in the curriculum and on the way I teach. There was a question about how they carry on studying after the courses end and what they have learnt throughout the courses.
I expected I could improve something. Majority of students praised me in all aspects. The content of the curriculum was clear and easy to comprehend. I was helpful, approachable and patient. There were also negative things. They were never in more than one answer. There were: that I didn’t give enough space for expressing students’ experience, that I write badly on a whiteboard, that I didn’t wear a mask and that they courses were in English. One of the students who was a teacher himself (There were two people of middle age among students,) told me that my approach is sometimes rigid.
To conclude the paragraph. What is the answer on the question at the beginning of this trilogy? Can I become a teacher? Do I have preconditions for it?
I think I can become a teacher. In that case I must be fortunate and have the right director. The director with a brain who is interested in needs of others more than keeping their own piece of cake.
What I could have done differently
Kate told me once, I have too ambitious targets and take on too much work. That’s true. I should have had a lower number of courses. If I had had fewer of them, I would have free time to participate in their activities.
I arrived to North Macedonia on 1st August 2021. That’s the starting date which was written in the original project documentation. When I started having troubles with the visa process, I found out that if I had come one month later, I would have left one month later.
When I decide and I am determined to reach a target which I set out, nobody persuades me about the opposite. It helped me to even begin with the courses and get support from Sfera. On the other hand it caused me to being kicked out.
I was thinking if it would have been better to bow to the inevitable and move to the other room and carry on with the courses in person. I came to a conclusion that there was so much burden to carry that if I had carried on, it would have destroyed me. My subconsciousness decided on its own not to comply in order to self-preserve my mind.
What I gained
I learnt about what a job of a teacher consists of. Primarily it consists of planning, creating materials and textbooks for students, structure of classes and administrative tasks. I have gained an insight about behaviour of secondary school students and sociological atmosphere in a classroom and that each person needs a different approach.
I practised my assertive communication and how to talk to ignorants. I also found out about how bad management looks like and how to fight it effectively. I gained an insight into who non-profits NGOs work, its economic activities and how they handle money. I came to a conclusion that they are not on the inside what they present to the public.
In conclusion I can say I have reached the targets which I set out at the beginning and I learnt a little bit more which I didn’t expect to. However, I still feel sorry that I couldn’t stay and finish the courses in Bitola in order to share the joy of learning and teaching with students in person.
